Getting a Job

That is right, for those that know me, I am thinking about getting a job. Those that don't, (1) why are you here (2) how did you find this site and (3) I haven't had a job for a few months now. Ever since I got back from Kuwait and back out of the Navy I have been living it on easy street. But now I was seriously thinking about getting a job. How else am I am going to get a motorcycle and go skydiving, that shit is expensive.

Now I don't think I am picky about a job I want, I just need one criteria fullfilled. That is, I need to like the work I am going to do. That is a big problem though, because whenever I drive around town I think of getting a job at some of these places based only on the fact that I could get good benefits. Like getting a job a Chic-Fli-A and getting free (or at least cheap)lunch all the time. But then I though about how much it would suck to work at a fast food place. Even if Chic-Fli-A does look like a clean place to work, you just know it will suck. Then there is Best Buy. I think I buy more shit from Best Buy then I do anywhere else. Movies, games, games, games, music and computer shit. Plus if I get enough money I could buy a a big screen tv or new surround sound. Then I though of the downside, customers. I hate working with people. I just know I am going to snap in someones face for asking me stupid shit about computers. Face it, most people are pretty stupid when it comes to computers, and when that old grandma or grandpa comes in asking for something stupid too many damn times, I don't know if I can handle that. Plus, Best Buy is all the fucking way in Greenbrier. I hate driving long distances to work. I mean it isn't my dream job to work with stupid people. Maybe if I got a job as a prositute for the top 1% of beutiful women, then I would drive to....well fuck anywhere, everyday.

Back on the point at hand, I need to get a job that doesn't suck ass. So I think I have narrowed my choices down:

1. Male Stripper - How awsome would it be to have women lusting at you and then giving you money. Then maybe getting some money on the side to please though richer hot looking girls in a more private setting. Down side, they probably can't keep guys out of the place and there would be only one kind of guy that would spend money at a male strip club.
2. Mercenary/Assassin - Okay I don't think I would ever be able to get a job like this. Since, well I don't think I am qualified. I have been in the military and I have shot all types of weapons, but I havem't been in a combat situation before. So who know how I would react. It would be a cool job to kill people for a living though. Think about it, I would be sitting in my room playing games and a message would pop up on my secure computer saying "Zombie, we have a job for you, meet us at 22:00" or some shit like that. Then I would say to my roommates "I am thinking about going to California or something, talk to you guys later." Then come back two days later with $25,000 dollars and a bullet in my leg. Cool huh.
3. Male Prositute for the top 1% most beutiful women in the world - Okay I don't need much explaining on why these would be a cool job, only problem is getting the world out on how good I am and how ruggedly good looking I am. For those tat don't know me, I must say I am a damn good looking guy, about 6'2 210 pounds of lean muscle and uhhhh ummmm shit I am a fatso and wouldn't have the qualifications for this job ethier.
4. Owner of a Nightclub/Bar - Well this would just be a cool job because, shit I own a fucking bar. How many girls come to bars and wouldn't they all be impressed with meeting the owner. Shit yeah they would. I could also make a good amount of money owning my own business, and owning a bar would look alot less gay then owning, well a hair salon or some shit like that.

Well that is about it, there are probably many more jobs I could and would want to do, but this is all I can think about right now. Until I get one of these. I am just going to sit on my ass and play video games until I run out of money.