Cruise Trip, Day Six

Day six on the cruise went pretty uneventful.  It was another "fun day at sea" which just means they are traveling between ports and you are stuck on a ship to spend your money on gambling and alcohol.  Well I really didn't feel like gambling and for some reason didn't really drink that much either.  For the first half of the day I just wondered around the ship, going to some of the ship board events and going to the shops, but none of those things really peaked my interest.  I also wondered my way to the casino a few time to see how my dad, uncle and Mike were doing.  Early in the day I don't think they were doing so hot.  I also went back to my room a few times, watched a movie or two.  I really don't remember them because honestly they weren't very good.  I do remember going to my room and some maintence guy was outside the room because their was a leak in our room.  What a piece of shit room we had.  A dark, arm pit smelling, water leaking shit hole our room was.  I am pretty sure our room was the worst room on the cruise that I knew about.  But I guess it really didn't matter up to this point since I would just shower, change and pass out drunk in the room.  Today though, trying to watch a movie in the stink hole was different.  

Well the first half of the day kind of sucked and the second half wasn't much better.  Mike and I went to dinner with our parents, where Edgar our waiter showed us another one of his tricks.  We then went back the to casino where I think Mike started to get lucky at the craps table.  I think Jenn was there again, and she seemed to be pretty lucky.  Even with her luck I really didn't feel like gambling so I went back to my room, watch some TV and fell asleep.  Only to have Mike walk in the room at midnight confessing that he was up some 500 dollars and he just came back to the room to take a break or some shit.  He was also getting a little drunk, but that didn't stop him from going back to the casino to lose 200 of that winnings.  I even think I remember him saying that he put $100 on black on the the roulette wheel, which he lost.

That pretty much ended the night for both of us, actually I think we went back up to the lido deck to get some pizza at 3 in the morning but we didn't do anything too exciting thats for sure.

Cruise Trip, Day Five

So I think I messed the last entry up, I don't think we drank that much on the day we went diving. All the drinking kind of merges together so it is easy to mess up. Well, on day five I woke up and the day was pretty shitty. I went to the top deck to get some breakfast and look out the window. It was raining and overcast, so I knew this day in Honduras wasn't going to be that great. In fact I was debating whether or not I was even going to go ashore. After sitting on the ship for a few more hours I talked to Mikey and we decided that we might as well go out and just see the island. On the plus side of the day being shitty, there weren't many peddlers on the street. We walked a few blocks from the pier and saw a skinny dog eating garbage so we decided to go head back. On the walk back we came across a kid and led us to a bar for a few bucks. After getting to the bar, our natural habitat, we knew exactly what to do.

At the bar we ordered a few beers while talking to some of the locals and other people from the cruise. Of course after being at the bar for a few minutes our parents somehow found us. I really don't know how they did it, but that is why Mikey kept saying that he has to have some kind of tracking device on him. Well our parents didn't do much at the bar besides tell us that we need to get ready to leave before the ship leaves without us. Well after constant badgering from our parents they finally left to check out the town only to come back a few minutes later. After them going back to the cruise ship my dad came back to have a few drinks with us, which is kind of weird since I think that is the first beer I have seen him drink in five years. Obviously we both assumed that he came back to the bar to make sure we don't miss the cruise.

We soon leave the bar after doing a tequila shot iron man style, which is with no lime or salt. I won't lie, I nearly puked. After leaving the bar we actually made it back to the ship with time to spare, imagine that. Once we got back on the ship we started drinking some more, since hey I was already warmed up and ready for more drinking.

This is where I messed up the story on the last entry. I know I messed up because the ship was rocking pretty hard on the big night of drinking. I know that because Jenn was wearing the fashionable wrist bands that night. I also know that because after that shot of Patron I nearly puked. So I guess I will tell you what happen on the day we went diving. After taking the quick nap and dinner after the dive we went to the Casino. We saw our fathers there losing money so Mike said what the hell I will lose some too. So Mike sat down at the table and started to gamble also. I really didn't want to lose money on that say so I walked around the ship and did a lot of nothing. I really don't remember what I did, probably went to a few bars and talked to a few people. This might have been the night the firefighter guy from Chicago just sat down next to me at a table and started talking to me, but like I said all the drinking day kind of merge together. Later on during the day I went back to the casino and Mikey was talking to Hillary and Jenn. I am pretty sure this was the first night I formally met both of them. In fact I am not even sure I knew their names before tonight, also why I know this happened before the big drinking night the next day. I think they went to the comedy show, which I warned them was pretty lame, but they claimed that it was a different show. I forgot to ask if it was the same show that I watched a few minutes of. Anyway I think I went to bed kind of early that night, I was a bit tired from the diving and getting almost no sleep since the cruise started.

Cruise Trip, Day Four

After getting about three hours of drunk sleep, Mike and I had to get up at seven and get our SCUBA gear ready. Fortunately I was still in my bathing suit from last night. Yes, I wore and slept in the same bathing suit I was in all damn day yesterday. That probably what started to make our room smell like an armpit. So we got up at seven after only a few hours of drunken sleep to get our gear ready and meet in White Lighting. So we get there and my dad is late somehow. I think he barely makes it to the excursion group somehow, even though we are still drunk. Well all the certified and non-certified divers grab their gear and head down 5 more flights of stairs to the exit deck only to be told that this was the wrong side of the ship. So now we head back up the five flights of stairs walk across the ship and head back down five flights of stairs, all the while carrying our SCUBA gear. I was carrying a mask, fins, a few towels and 30 some pounds or lead weight. Keep in mind I am still drunk, so this was not the most fun trek for me to do at the time.

We finally get on the excursion boat and take a 30 minute drive to am island set up by the dive company. The island is pretty cool looking, it had bungalows on the water, a beach, a bar and a gift shop. All in all a pretty nice place, but we didn't stay there long because all the certified divers took the boat out again for this time a 45 minute drive to our first dive. As we are getting there our dive master asks for our certification and how many dives we have done before. I tell him I have done about 40 - 50 dives, which is true, but I just don't have them logged. Mike tells him he has done 20 I think, which was not true. I don't know for sure how many he has done, but he just got his certification and then did two dives with me, for a total of six. My dad on the other hand says he has done zero dives. The dive master is taken back at this because you have to do at least 4 open water dives to get qualified. Of course my dad did do those dives, I guess he just wasn't counting them or something. So we get to the dive site and prepare our gear for entry. I felt a little uncomfortable having some guy put my fins on for me, but other than that it goes pretty smooth. Once in the water I notice that I am probably a little too fat for the weight I have on me, but I manage. Mike also seems to be doing a lot better in this water than he did in Pennsylvanian. My dad on the other hand, wow. Mike warned me about my dad in the water, but I didn't believe he would be this bad. Lets just say that SCUBA diving is not my dad's strong point in life. While we are all under the water, my dad of course has a difficult time maintaining his buoyancy and equalizing, which means he is just draining the air out of his tank. In fact by the time Mike is trying to go as deep as he can, which was 90 feet before the dive master called him back, my dad is just about out of air. At this point I still have over 2000 psi, probably around 2300, my dad is below 1000. So the dive master takes him back to the boat while the rest of us go with the other dive master. After going diving on the side of a shelf we head back to 40 foot waters to spend the rest of the dive. Over all the first dive was a lot of fun, I haven't dove in warm, clear water since I was in Hawaii so it was good to be back. We eventually all get back on the boat, where they have some pineapples, water melon and chips ready for us to eat. Since I am still kind of buzzing I start to gorge on this food. I kind of felt like as asshole standing over the chips and dip like I was a male lion protecting his food while he eats. After the first dive, we take about a 45 to 60 minute break for the nitrogen in our blood to release before we do our next dive. This time we are not in two groups, we were in two groups last time so everyone doesn't get too crowded, this time we are in one group and the other dive master was going to watch over my dad this time, because he is just an awful SCUBA diver. The second dive goes pretty good, with the dive master taking care of my dad we all stay down for the entire time. A few people were knocking into me but everything goes good. My mask did fog up this time, so I cleared it underwater just to feel the sting of that salty water burn my eyes. We get back to the island and have a few beers, to start getting warmed up for tonight. We are on the island for about an hour before we head back to the ship.

Back at the ship Mike and I pass the fuck out, in our bathing suits again to build up that stinky armpit smell. We wake up a few hour later to get ready to go to dinner. I think this time Tara and Leslie actually go to dinner with us. Since they haven't been to their own dinner yet and our table had two empty seats. We all had a few more drinks at dinner, which was a prelude to yet another drunk ass night. After dinner we met Jen and Hillary at the piano bar, which is I am not mistake the pianist was dressed up for Halloween as Elton John, but looks more like Kid Rock. We after a few more drinks there and yelling at the pianist to play our songs and only our songs dammit, we headed over to the Karaoke bar. There Jenn was the only person to sing a song and got yelled at by the karaoke coordinator for sticking her ass out at her. Her dress was pretty short to be honest, but I didn't see anything wrong with that. After the karaoke bar we, for some reason, went to White Lighting, to resident disco/dance club. After having yet a few more drinks Tara and Leslie both managed to talk me into dancing. Now I am not Mike or the Oshkosh boys, dancing is not my strong suit, or even any suit I have in my hand so I was trying my hardest not to look like a jackass, like Mike and the Oshkosh kids. I probably failed, but I at least had some fun, which I guess is what matters. After dancing at the Jungle club for a while we made our way to the back of the ship to the last bar that was open still, imagine that. We have a few more drinks and Jenn was the first to bail on us. About an hour after Jenn ditched us Tara and Leslie had some kind of sister to sister scuffle. Not a physical fight like Mike and I would get into but just words, like girls do. So after that, Leslie walks off and I didn't even know what the hell was going on at this point, I though she was going to take a piss or something and got lost, but then I see Tara is kind of upset. So I talk to her for a while and go back to the bar for more drinks. After getting back to the bar, since I didn't know why Leslie left all of a sudden I tell Tara I am going to check on he to make sure she isn't passed out on the side of the boat somewhere. But now this is what really gets me. I know Tara was drunk but after I tell her I am going to check on her sister she offers he sign and sale care to a guy she just met a few days ago, me. This still kind of bugs me, because really, who the hell am I. In fact two days ago we were telling her we were going to take them both out in the jungle and well, leave them there. Now she is offering her card to me, which of course I tell he she should probably keep it and I will just knock on the door. I get to the room and I knock but there is no answer. It turns out after getting Tara to open the door, the door was dead bolted so we had to get security to unlock it only to find Leslie inside passed out and snoring, loudly.

We then go back to the bar, where Tara can barely walk. She says because of the moving of the boat, but it didn't seem to be a problem for her when we wasn't loaded. In fact I am pretty sure she fell on her ass that night at least once. So anyway, I am trying to make sure she makes it bat to the bar, but now it is closed and I think Mike and Hillary are waiting for us to go to the front of the boat, to that bar, while he gets some of the beer in our room. At the front of the bar we meet some portuguese old man, who just might be the dirtiest old man I have ever met. He talks to us for a while, tells us a few of his dirty jokes and we all start to leave. I walk Tara back to her room and go back to my room, but on the way I see the old man again and start talking to him for some reason. Well I talk to him for about 30 more minutes before I head back to my room to close out another night on the ship.

Oh to look at a demo of our dive go to this link www.lonewrasse.com. We went diving on the 8/23.

Cruise Trip, Day Three

Our first port of call day, Mike and I woke up pretty late. The ship already docked but we couldn't get off the ship because of another carnival cruise ship named Ecstasy was still coming in. Well we went up to the lido dent to meet everyone we were hanging out with last night, but it turns out nobody was there. We were pretty sure we got ditched so we just got some food and prepared to leave the boat. Right before we were about to head down the the bottom deck to leave we bump into Tara and Leslie. We ask them if they know where the rest of the group is but they haven't seen anyone else either so all four of us now make our way to exit the ship. As we are walking off the ship Mike makes a few rude comments about the other ship and suggests that we get a Jeep to roam around the island. As we are inquiring the locals on how to get a jeep, the girls wander off and again I was pretty sure we just got ditch, again. It turns out they didn't go to far and we just scrapped the jeep idea and hailed a taxi. We all got in and headed to mr sanchos or senor sanchos or something like that, I really dont remember the name.

We arrived at mr sanchos pretty quickly, and met up with our parents. I honestly didn't know we were going to meet them there but I should have figured since my aunt and uncle were talking about how nice the place was earlier. We then introduced them to Leslie and Tara and started drinking again. The place was a pretty nice place I guess, kind of touristy but what can you expect from a place a cruise ship drops you off. The water wasn't as nice and I was expecting either. I guess it was kind of choppy and the waves were churning up the sand to knock the visibility down.

By the time I got out of the water, Mike and Tara rented a jet ski while everyone else ordered some food. Not much happen at mr sanchos that I can remember. The hot sauce was pretty hot and the food of decent. We did do some tequila shots though. For some reason Mike and Tara really didn't like the first shot that I bought. Leslie and I really weren't excited about doing tequila and we were the ones that didn't bitch about it. After a few more shots and a few more beers we headed back to the ship, but since we had a hour before we had to get on we went the senor frogs. We had a few more drinks there, some mute blowing a whistle got us to drink some blue sugar water for 5 dollars a piece, we saw some drunk guy puke and pass out on the sidewalk and I think the girls danced in a conga line or some shit. As we were going back to the ship Mike wanted to relive his experience with jumping into the pier in Mexico so he ask the port authority if he could. They were saying we couldn't but at the same time they were saying they didn't give a shit if we did. So of course like a bunch of assholes we jump in. As I was swimming back to the pier I saw a security guard come up to me. I won't lie, I was kind of scared when I saw him, but after I tried climbing back onto the pier I was kind of glad, because without his help, there was no way in hell I was going to make it. So after helping me out of the water he asks us for our IDs and cruise cards. Now again I was scared I was going to be fined or put in the brig for being an asshole, but it turns out they just escorted us to the ship and gave us back our things.

After getting back on board we headed to the lido deck bar again, and this was the night I got completely hammered. Apparently some kind of party started at the bar just a few hours after we got there and started drinking. I don't remember any of that. I just remember drinking a lot of drinks, talking to a lot of people and being the only asshole in a damn bathing suit. I do remember talking to the other guy from Green Bay, I forget his name though. Oh uh just to interject, I forgot to introduce Tara and Leslie other than by name. Tara works for a news paper, which won her the cruise, and Leslie works for an eye doctor. They are sisters and both live in Green Bay. Which is why it was odd to talk to the Green Bay guy right after they left, lets call him Don. So Don started talking to us and we learned that he was from Green Bay, which made Mike and I kind of curious. This guy was in his 40s to 50s and started talking to us, right after Tara and Leslie left, and he was from Green Bay. It wouldn't be too far fetched to think that this guy was related to them in some way. Especially after he started asking question like how old I was and shit like that. Turns out that the girls didn't know him and all and he was just small talking us, but still kind of strange. Well the rest of the night went pretty much like every other drunken night. I did some how get into a conversation with a complete and certified nut though. He was talking some kind of crazy non-sense and beating on his chest. Kind of scary, I thought for sure I was going to get into a fight with this guy, but Mike comes up to me and says I have a shot at the bar to drink, saving me from that nut. Mike also introduced everyone to chocolate cake shots, which Don loved, and told his numbers joke about million more times. We finally went to sleep around three in the morning knowing full well that we had to be up by seven to go SCUBA diving all damn day tomorrow in Belize.

Cruise Trip, Day Two

Like I said before I am really fuzzy on the things we did on which days but I forgot to mention that we met the oshkosh boys the previous day.  It turns we will see quite a bit of those guys thoughout the trip, mainly at the bar.

To continue the story, Mike and I woke up about the time our steward came in our room.  Dont really remember his
name since we were just calling him whatever. We asked him about the beers that Mike brought in and if we could put them in the mini fridge.  He told us we could but just to take out the other stuff and put it in the closet.  The day went pretty uneventful until the night came.

After dinner with out parents again, Mike and I, who were drunk already, went to the lido deck bar for a few more drinks.  I think we went to some show that night too, but hell if I remember that.  I do remember mike telling his damn "pick a number between 2 and 9" joke, which by the way is so old that I think Archimedes came up with it after he figured out how to find the surface area of a sphere.  I have no idea how he tricked anyone on it, but hey who am I to judge.
Anyway, we were basically drinking a lot of beer and doing a lot of shots all night.  Also I am pretty sure this was the night I snuck into the employee party.  I remember that because I was still wearing the shirt and tie from dinner that night.  That was a pretty interesting situation.

So I was drinking all damn day and night and of course I am drunk as hell.  I started to walk around the ship and walked up to a dead end with a door that said employees only.  I wasn't about to walk all the way back so I said 'fuck it, what are they going to do, throw me off the boat?'  So I walked into the door.  This was part of the ship that didnt have all the shine and show of the rest of the boat, so I knew I was in a place I really wasnt suppost to be.  I even saw a few crew members look at me like 'what the fuck is he doing here.'  Well to make a long story short I walked around in these corridors for a while until I saw a way out.  I passed some more employees and one asked if I was a crew memeber and I responded 'You betcha.'  I then walked into the back of the ship where the collapsable ceiling was.  I noticed a whole bunch of people with uniforms, and name tags on.  It didnt take me long to know that I was  in some kind of employee party.  I tried talking to some people but there were pretty much ignoring that I was even there.  Pretty rude actually but they proabaly didnt speak english.  After a while of just sitting there watching I went up to the bar.  The bartender was pretty cool about me being there.  I knew he knew I wasn't a customer and asked what I wanted anyway.  Just about then I felt a tap on my shoulder and a security guard told me that this was a private party and I had to go.  Pretty damn rude if you ask me, I just wanted a damn beer.  

After getting kicked out of that party, I met Mike at the lido deck, where this is the time I think I met Tara and Leslie.  They are both in a very select group of people on board that I actually remembered the names of.  We started to talk to them, and a guy they met earlier.  He was a cool 
guy but not in the select group of people.    So I am sorry I dont remember his name.  He did have a pretty hot wife that kept him on a short leash after this night though.  Well all five of us made our way around the boat, and if I am not mistaked we all met Hillary and Jen that night.  Actually I didnt meet them, but Mike and Tara were talking to them down the bar from the rest of us.  Well the night was getting late and it went back to the five of us where we just went to the lido bar one more time to order a few more drinks.  Then we made the arrangement to meet back there in the morning to go out in town in Cozumel.

Cruise Trip, Day One

I think I am going to have a difficult time remembering this cruise.  As I think back all the days kind of merge into one long one.  Could be because I was drunk most of the time, but it could also be that I am writing this a almost a week after I got back and I havent written anything down.  Here I go.

After getting home from work on friday I went back to my house get all my luggage ready and waited for my parents to get ready, since I was driving down to Florida with them.  Finally the time came to take the drive I swore I would never drive again.  The twelve hour drive down to cape canaveral.  The drive went pretty uneventful.  My parents kept taking piss breaks so it add an hour to the drive and I nearly killed everyone in the car in Jacksonville, same this I did last time I was in Jacksonville, at some nasty turn on the highway.  

Well I dont think I mentioned this yet, but I was going on this cruise with my family, which includs my parents, my aunt and uncle, my cousin Mike and myself.  Well my parents and I met the rest of our seafaring family in cocoa beach right next to the waffle house Mike and I ate at last time we went on a cruise.  So of course when we get down there Mike and I ate at the same waffle house again, I think we had to.  That and we didnt want the hotels continental breakfast.  Again I left out a detail, Mike and his parents flew down the night before and stayed in a hotel, sorry.  

Getting back on the story, my parents and I got in at seven in the morning so we had to wait for the ship to start loading.  You know what, I am just going to skip the story ahead a few hours to when we get on board.  Not much really happen between then and it is just boring writing about it.  

We get on the ship and of course, just like last time, we get bombarded but a bunch of waiters to by expensive ass drinks off of them.  Mike and I were a little smarter about it this time though.  We went straight to buying some of the 24 oz fosters.  After about 3 of those we were actually getting a pretty good buzz, so I got a little something to eat and continued to drink until we could go in our rooms.  After we settled in our rooms we went back out to the bars.  Now I could be wrong but I dont think we really met anyone that night, and if I am not mistaken we really didnt drink much the first night.  Those three fast fosters really hit us kind of strong and we contined to drink for a while.  

Now Like I said all the days run together in my head so if anyone that was on the cruise can think of whatelse we did that night let me know.  But other than that I think that is all of what happen on day one.  Not too exciting but the trip does get better.